The First Half Ending in the New Year

Being an intern is weird.

I know it’s what so many people are reaching for and what so many have already accomplished. That doesn’t make it any less a time of constant transition while trying to mesh with other lost sheep who you hope to form a scrubs-style bond to. And it’s time to show up. Doing your very best, while appreciated, isn’t what people need anymore. They expect your best and they need to see you doing your job. With results.

That’s crazy.

Which is why the first day of 2019 doesn’t feel so sparkly brand new. And I like sparkly new. July is an intern’s beginning. Tomorrow I go back to work after 5 days off to a short work week. And do what I need to. I have a general idea of what I’m doing, I know the patterns, I’ll know the patients.

All of that is baffling to me when I sit down and think about. Which is rare, because I usually don’t get the chance with my current style of living. In July, I didn’t know where the bathrooms were, forget knowing how to do my job. The learning curve is steep. Stepper than I could have ever imagined. And my program pulls no punches. We’re thrown right into the flame from the start and we’re given a lot of responsibility.

Essentially, my first call was a hot mess. I got physically lost. It was three weeks in.

I repeat, hot mess.

But that just means when I look back, I can see the massive difference in myself. I wouldn’t say I’m ready for senior-hood but I can feel it coming. I want to be the kind of senior my seniors (so far) have been to me. So many of them are just so competent it still blows my mind. Maybe we interns just got lucky, with our own class, and the ones above but if I can get there, that would really make my 2019. We get the senior phone start this month. Now that’s terrifying.

This past year has really been like no other. I marked off way too many life events all at once but there’s so much to come. I’ll still be an intern, but I’ll be a second half of the year intern. Totally different game.

Or so I’ve heard.

So here’s to going back to the floor, improving every day and still being a just a little bit weird.

Good luck in this year friends.

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