Out of Context Medical School Quotes

Oh medical students. How our reputations supersede us. Lately, I’ve seen a ton of people romanticizing being in medical school or some variation thereof. We’ve been forgotten as the very human, often ridiculous people who are just trying to survive in a high stakes, high pressure world.

I’ve written out quotes I that I still remember over the last 4 years mostly because they’re kinda funny but also because we’re just regular humans. This is all meant and good fun and if you have any, please feel to include them!

  • “Hey, I’m done holding this placenta do you want it now?”
  • “Your hair looks really nice today so if you don’t want to flip the body you don’t have to.”
  • “Do you think the reason we get loopy at night in the study rooms is because of the whiteboard marker fumes?”
  • “Being detailed oriented becomes a lot more high stakes when it involves a colon.”
  • “Who gets to name the bugs? Who gets to use the word influenzae if it’s not the flu!”
  • “Can I come over and pet your dog for a little while? I really need it.”
  • “I’ve never gone through so many highlighters in this short of a time.”
  • “I’m an adult and I can use pizza to cope if I want.”
  • “Hey, you want to see something gross? Too late! Here it is.”
  • “I liked being a vet tech, but my chances of being bit as a people doctor are somewhat lower.”
  • “You learn a lot about someone after watching them do a pelvic exam.”
  • “Sometimes it’s just better to stay in your self-induced cocaine coma.”
  • “I told him not to show up in the cow suit for this presentation!”
  • “You can’t sacrifice mealtimes with poptarts so you can study more.”
  • “Don’t eat bagels of the treatment tables!”
  • “Can you imagine? I’ve touched all of our classmates’ butts and it’s not even weird anymore.”
  • “It’s pimp or be pimped in this world.”
  • “He pushed an ICU nurse?! I’m surprised he didn’t end up in the ICU himself after that.”
  • “I’m stuck in on-call purgatory. I want to see cool stuff but I also want to sleep.”
  • “How many times in a day do you think I can eat lunch in the doctor’s lounge without getting caught?”
  • “In technical terms, he sounds crunchy as hell.”
  • “I guess if you’re gonna get tazed the ER is the place to do it.”
  • “I’m gonna need to know if there is a place I can dance around here.”
  • “You can’t just show up to a rotation with video games.”
  • “All skills are applicable in medicine. Especially stapling.”
  • “I had never really thought about liquids I have a problem with, but I know which ones they are now.”
  • “I can’t tell if I like doing this or I’ve just been stockholmed into liking it.”
  • “We’re going to use teamwork to help reduce our suffering.”
  • “How you mistake anything else for V tach?!”
  • “This ER looks like the hallway to hell.”
  • “I don’t know where the FM intern is, so congratulations, you’re the intern now.”
  • “As interview season goes on, I realized all I want is to be fed.”
  • “Match was so exciting, until I realized I actually have to go be a doctor.”

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