Originally posted June 2014
Whether it be non-med to pre-med, pre-health to pre-health, med student to parent, or any variation of those, we all have to keep in the mind the care for everyone involved in our crazy health related journeys. We should keep each other level headed and be there. So here are some helpful ways we can help each other out, instead of bring each other down.
These are just some things I’ve learned as a student, as well as from others all over the spectrum. These might be different from yours, and that’s just fine, but maybe it can help us all see eye to eye a little bit better.
Talk nerdy to me
It’s doesn’t always have to happen, but every once in a while, let us go nuts. Let us talk about the things we learned. Let us spew science mumbo jumbo you aren’t interested in. Let us explain how your lungs work. Let us talk about nursing to you, even if you are optometry. Let us gripe about a class you haven’t taken yet. Let us be excited when we have a health epiphany. A lot of times we forget that not everyone can share in our enthusiasm or we can’t remember how normal people communicate. And remember, we should certainly return the favor (aka call us out on it).
At some point all medical whatever-you-are studying becomes numero uno on your list of what’s important. To many, that’s just a wee bit crazy. To us, it’s totally normal. But it’s okay to give a little nudge and say “You need to sleep.” Or “you haven’t seen the light of day in a week.”
Don’t you forget about me
As medical anythings, we play the busy card a lot. It’s justified, most of us do have a lot on our plate. And we do want to hang out, participate and have fun but the earth doesn’t turn that way. We only have a measly 24 hours in our days. So one thing that wears us down is when our busy schedules cause us to be left out. Saying “no” means that we take responsibility for not going. Not being invited gives us pangs of hurt, even if it wasn’t on purpose.
Just because you show yours doesn’t mean they have to show theirs
Grades, obviously. You have every right to show people your grades good or bad. You even have the right to ask (though it isn’t really appreciated). But everyone has the right to say no and you can’t do anything about it. In the early stages of our education, most of us are neither here nor there about it and don’t have a problem sharing. But as classes get more competitive and more challenging, students can choose to not share anymore. It’s something personal after all. And on that note…
We are allowed to change our minds
And no one should get flak for it. So we might have started off with a goal of medical school and changed to pharmacy, drastically changed our target specialty, or starting over from a totally different major or job. That’s the great thing about schooling here. You can try things until something suits your fancy. A lot of times these choices are hard. As students in the health industry the last thing we need is for people saying things like “can’t hack it, couldn’t make it, and wasting talent”.
A little heart will help
Listen, we all do things and say things without thinking. Especially if we think we’re being funny. We don’t always realize when we do it, especially when we have 50 other things happening at once. Point it out when things like this happen, but please don’t run us into the ground, telling us how horrible we are. Trust me; we are sorry when we do things like that and we already feel bad. If you have a repeat offender, it might be different, but most of us are just trying to sort out if we are good enough already. We don’t need to be beat into the ground for it.
Patience is a virtue
We need to be kind to each other. We all have struggles inside and outside of the classroom. All of us fight battles no one else can see. It can be hard, especially when they are being short with everyone else. Maybe they back out of events or forget something important. Try not to let it get too far under your skin. But for most, these tidal changes eventually return to calm water. They will appreciate that you can see beyond their stints of insanity.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
Being there for your health hopeful is one of the best things you can do. But remember your own sanity. It’s true, this process does change people. Sometimes, it’s best for everyone to keep some distance for a while. If you try to push, even if you have the best intentions, it could end up worse than how it started. Don’t drop anyone like a hot tamale (unless they do something really awful) because of a few incidences. When things have cooled down, take a step back in.
We don’t say it enough
We’re thankful that you’re here! We’re sorry when we miss important things! We love you! Being a student in the medical world isn’t easy, and sometimes we just get so wrapped up in everything. We aren’t trying to be detached or demanding or snippy. It happens to the best of us. Hell it happens to everyone at some point. We really do care though.
It’s a tough ride, but somehow we can all get through. Remember, if you want to be taken care of, take care of those around you.