10 Kinds of Roommates You’ll have in College

Written April 2014

Hopefully you haven’t actually had to live with 10 different people over the course of your college career (I’m pretty close with 7). And most of us are not lucky enough to have the most desirable of living situation. But hey, we experience is the best teacher right? And patience is the more valiant of virtues.

So here are some types of the roommates you may or may not have had the pleasure of living with while gaining your education. Is this all of them? Does everyone fall into these categories? No way, but you’ve probably had at least one.

Neutral territory

You are not friends with this person, but you don’t dislike each other either. Maybe you don’t have any common interests, your hours are completely opposite or you just don’t feel to need to really interact with each other. You just kind of exist within each other’s space and have a mutual, unspoken agreement that you probably won’t ever hang out after you move out that it’s totally okay.

Stage 5 clinger

Wait, you changed your whole schedule so it’s almost identical to mine? Why? So we can see each other all the time and we can be full time study buddies, I see. It’s not bad at first, but there aren’t too many people you are excited to see at 8 am, especially you hover roommate. You’ll be sick of this roommate pretty quickly, they never seen to leave your side. Be ready for a hissy fit or two when you go out without them, because they have put a lot of effort into being around you and you need to reciprocate. Most of the time, this goes pretty sour but it kind of is a relief when it’s over.

 

The Greek

Letters everywhere. Is this because they can’t remember the right Greek letters if they don’t see them all the time? You aren’t really sure. Their hours are kind of all over the place and they get dressed up way more than you do, which makes you question your life choices. Maybe you should actually do your hair tomorrow morning (spoiler; you aren’t). They won’t be your favorite roommate because let’s face it, The most important people to Greeks are other Greeks.  But you learn secrets. Greek secrets. This is pretty cool because it’s mostly a secret society. Just watch out for late night entrances, fueled by liquid courage.

Up all night, up all day

How can anyone be a night owl and an early bird?! Well this roommate is and does so. To bed at 4 am and to class at 9 am! Stay out until 5 but up for a 5k three hours later. You question if they actually do sleep, when they sleep and how can you sleep less and do more. And they aren’t a complete mess, because if you tried living that way you would be the dictionary definition of hot mess. Luckily, they are always up for most anything, but don’t feel bad if you have to tell them to keep quiet at some ungodly hour of the night/morning.

Stuck-up hermit

This isn’t your average hide away roommate. Nope, this roommate hides from all the incompetence in the world, including you and your other roommates. And together you have decided that if your hermit roommate doesn’t appear after three days you are allowed to break down the door to see if they are alright. Every once in a while they act like a human-being, but that’s rare and in-between. Be ready to be yelled at around 10 pm on a Saturday and how senseless certain things are when you do see them.

The one upper

You have two tests this week? Well they have three. Went to the clinic for a cold? Well damn, they had the flu! Nothing you do or say will hold a candle to the things they say they do and how successful (or how terrible) they are. You will by annoyed by the one upper roommate but their isn’t too much you can do. Can you call them out? Sure, but that probably will just start a roommate war (which are tons of fun).Eventually, you figure it’s just better you answer in vague, cryptic messages, because they have forced you to indeed be that person.

The swamped

They say they love the major they picked but the sobbing you hear coming from their room makes you question where the line between determined and crazy is. Their normal response to you asking about an activity is “I’m sorry I can’t go out I have to study/work/do 5,000 applications.” They make you wonder if you’re doing enough, but also that you’re happy to have something that resembles free time. If you want to feel productive, just hang out with this roommate when you study since they can go for hours. These roommates are best if you are also swamped, since you can relate to each other.

Drug Lord

Why does the apartment smell like dry, burning…oh. Yep, the door to their room is firmly closed, but vents opened wide. They aren’t actually drug lords (could you imagine?) but they know where to get the shit they want, as well a lot of hard liquor. If you have chosen live with a roommate who dabbles in the hallucinogenic arts you don’t really get to harp on them about it. If it’s a situation you weren’t aware of, then you have every right to demand they not smoke in the damn living room and take appropriate measures from there onward.

The significant other

I’m not talking about YOUR significant other. I’m talking about your roommate who gets off from being called someone’s boyfriend/girlfriend. They are either firmly attached to their significant other by the hip or constantly talking about them. So much so that you know way too much about their partner. You will see your roommate’s SO all other time, or you never see your roommate. And if you hear sex sounds, you find out you can drop the most subtle sassy hints. Even if your roommate never gets it. Good on you if you tell them you’ve heard their mating sounds.

The chosen one

Finally, someone you can LIVE WITH. You guys are totally on the same wavelength, but know when to give each other space. You have no problem letting each other know what’s bothering you around your living quarters which allows you lead a peaceful co-existence. You most likely will keep in contact with this roommate after you no longer share the same living quarters, since your most likely great friends! This roommate makes your college existence just that much better, because let’s face it, great roommates makes everything better.

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